Thank you is a powerful statement. Such a simple phrase really doesn’t seem like a mage’s chant or sorcerers mantra, but within these two words is contained the power to instill loyalty, divert wrath, bolster love, and erase misconceptions or hurt. In today’s world of misconceived entitlement, gratitude seems to have become nothing more than a formality in polite society and lost on everyone else. To tap the power of gratitude it must be something felt rather than spoken.
To be entitled is to justly have something without giving anything in return. We as humans are all entitled things such as freedom of choice, equality, happiness, and the basics of maintaining life. We are not entitled to objects, so when we receive things that we need or desire it is wrong to believe that we owe nothing in return. Often, we owe nothing more then to acknowledge the source of our benefit through gratitude. However, because many believe that they are “entitled” they give nothing in return. The power of gratitude is lost on these individuals and they sell themselves short for worthless objects.
When you sincerely say “thank you,” you are saying much more than words. You convey to others a willingness to see past yourself and give others the reassurance that you care, that you don’t just see them as a means to an end. Your gratitude is also a need that others may have. It gives them needed feelings of being wanted and belonging.
In order for gratitude to have this magic effect it must be sincere. Bluntly, this means that you have to actually be thinking about others. It means that you have to put aside selfishness and feelings of entitlement. A selfish thank you will have the opposite effect and will be offensive. The Holiday Season is magical. Barriers can be broken down, hate dampened, and discord calmed if you have gratitude. Without gratitude, holidays are a hassle, and gifts are hollow and dissatisfying. This year add a little magic by sending a thank you card, thanking a relative for no purpose, and looking at what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t. Put a little magic in the air this year. Say “thank-you”.
-Charles
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The Negatives of Negativity
So I want you to think of the most depressing person you know. I’d be willing to venture that their life is really not the tragedy that they would have you believe. In fact, I would venture further that if your friend would stop complaining once in a while and put forth some effort then they would have a lot less to complain about. Now, I want you to think about how you feel when you spend time with that person. Have you ever noticed that no matter what kind of mood you are in when you talk with you friend that you always leave feeling worse then you did before? You find yourself complaining about things more and are suddenly tired. There is a simple principal that causes this anomaly. Negativity is an infectious disease that is communicable through thought. However, like the most diseases there are simple ways to prevent and cure it.
I have a friend who used to be a very negative person. His family took him to Disney a few years ago for three days. Upon return however, all he could talk about was the fact hat he had dropped his lunch and lost it. Now, did he have a terrible time? No, aside from dropping his food that one time, there was no other upsets on the entire trip. His negative attitude at the time completely obstructed all his wonderful experiences from view and hyper focused his view on that one small incident. Negativity robs the host individual of any happiness by omitting those thoughts and observations that would bring happiness.
If you take two burning logs and place them next to each other the resulting flame will be larger than the sum of the to separate. Negativity, and its companion’s anger and hate, are like flames that grow larger the more logs they can affect. Thus the statement misery loves company. A person alone will never generate the same level of emotions that two people or more could generate. That is why people in mobs will do things that they would be horrified had they done the same thing alone.
Infections affect more easily those individuals that are in a weakened state, but all are still susceptible to disease. Such is the same with negativity. There are individuals that just naturally seem to be able to avoid most negativity, but no one person is immune to it. There are many anti-negativity activities that we can employ to avoid becoming negative in the first place and once infected there are many cures.
Nutrition is vital to the whole health of an individual. Likewise, there are certain emotional nutrients that an individual needs to stay positive. Work and accomplishment are the whole grains of emotional health, family is the milk, sociality and charity are its fruits and meats, and we can always use a little dessert. If you are depressed take a look at your life. Is your emotional diet lacking in “whole grains” are you consuming to much “junk?” To much daytime TV would make anyone depressed. The first step to positive emotion is to adjust your emotional consumption. If your negativity seems beyond self-help get help from others by asking them to feed you positive messages of encouragement as you seek to adjust your emotional nutritional balance. Sometimes professional help is necessary. Chemical imbalances can weaken the body’s defense against negativity just like an immunodeficiency causes an increase risk to infection.
Whatever the cause of negativity, it can be helped. If you are blessed with the natural defense against it you have the ability to help others. If you suffer from negativity there is help. We as a society raise huge amounts of money to cure things like cancer and aids. Negativity is just as infectious a disease as small pox. We got rid of small pox. As a society shouldn’t we do more to rid ourselves of negativity?
- Charles
I have a friend who used to be a very negative person. His family took him to Disney a few years ago for three days. Upon return however, all he could talk about was the fact hat he had dropped his lunch and lost it. Now, did he have a terrible time? No, aside from dropping his food that one time, there was no other upsets on the entire trip. His negative attitude at the time completely obstructed all his wonderful experiences from view and hyper focused his view on that one small incident. Negativity robs the host individual of any happiness by omitting those thoughts and observations that would bring happiness.
If you take two burning logs and place them next to each other the resulting flame will be larger than the sum of the to separate. Negativity, and its companion’s anger and hate, are like flames that grow larger the more logs they can affect. Thus the statement misery loves company. A person alone will never generate the same level of emotions that two people or more could generate. That is why people in mobs will do things that they would be horrified had they done the same thing alone.
Infections affect more easily those individuals that are in a weakened state, but all are still susceptible to disease. Such is the same with negativity. There are individuals that just naturally seem to be able to avoid most negativity, but no one person is immune to it. There are many anti-negativity activities that we can employ to avoid becoming negative in the first place and once infected there are many cures.
Nutrition is vital to the whole health of an individual. Likewise, there are certain emotional nutrients that an individual needs to stay positive. Work and accomplishment are the whole grains of emotional health, family is the milk, sociality and charity are its fruits and meats, and we can always use a little dessert. If you are depressed take a look at your life. Is your emotional diet lacking in “whole grains” are you consuming to much “junk?” To much daytime TV would make anyone depressed. The first step to positive emotion is to adjust your emotional consumption. If your negativity seems beyond self-help get help from others by asking them to feed you positive messages of encouragement as you seek to adjust your emotional nutritional balance. Sometimes professional help is necessary. Chemical imbalances can weaken the body’s defense against negativity just like an immunodeficiency causes an increase risk to infection.
Whatever the cause of negativity, it can be helped. If you are blessed with the natural defense against it you have the ability to help others. If you suffer from negativity there is help. We as a society raise huge amounts of money to cure things like cancer and aids. Negativity is just as infectious a disease as small pox. We got rid of small pox. As a society shouldn’t we do more to rid ourselves of negativity?
- Charles
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Lost Roots
You will often hear me speak of the self-absorbed “me” generation. One of the negative effects of this line of thinking is that things that are not immediately in the scope of the individual’s needs or selfish desires tend to be forgotten. The first thing that usually gets dropped along the way is the individual’s knowledge of his/her roots. It’s sad really, once an individual looses sight of his/her important past they can be as unstable in their identity as a leaf in a strong autumn wind. They loose the foundation of a strong moral ground and true character goes out the window.I was pleased this week to meet a woman who despite living in this modern age has not lost sight of her roots. Her name is Mrs. Duke. Last week I had an opportunity to hang out with her daughter and was introduced to her rich heritage. This woman happens to come from a rich LDS heritage. She was able to tell me stories of her grandfathers association with LDS prophet David O. McKay and show me pictures of her ancestry. There was a pride in her voice as she spoke of her fathers. I was impressed at her knowledge and awed by her passion on the matter. This woman was able to stand on solid moral ground because she understood where she came from and who she was.
Now, what of those individuals who look at their past and say, “What have I to be proud of?” Questions of criminality, hate, and depression often may arise when looking to the past. Our ancestors were not perfect as we are not perfect. Looking to our past does not obligate us to perpetuate wrongs or relive misdeeds. The knowledge of our roots can be a pride of rising above or correcting false understandings. Once we have risen, however, to forget the past we run the risk of falling again. We move forward be remembering where we have been.
-Charles
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Real Men...
I’m sick of the modern day image of the “MAN.” A couple months ago I came across an article on Wikipedia, the dictionary dictated by sociality and common thought, entitled “The Wiki-Man Code.” This “code” is said to dictate what defines a man and brands men who don’t follow the rules as women. The sum of a Wiki-Man is nothing more than an emotionless self-serving drunk whose only interests are sex, violence, and more sex.
In response I have come up with my own rules for being a man.
Relationships toward others
Toward Other Men.
- A man can always expect to receive help from another man when in need and is always willing to help his fellow man.
- A man is tough enough to resolve conflicts with another man openly and face to face
Towards Women.
- A man gives women his highest respect.
- A man despises pornography and any thing that dehumanizes women.
- A man makes women feel safe.
- A man compliments a woman, even if he doesn’t have feelings for her, and takes it as a personal insult if a woman is down on herself.
Towards Children.
- A man is the biggest kid.
- A man loves to be near children.
- A man makes children feel safe.
Dating
- A man doesn’t betray a friend who is pursuing a woman by asking her out behind the friends back.
- A man isn’t afraid of women.
- A man opens the door for his date.
- A man is not overly physical or pushy. It doesn’t matter if it is the first date or the thirty-first date if you make that woman uncomfortable you are not a man.
- A man doesn’t let his date walk alone.
- A man pays. (unless there is a friendly pre-agreement with the woman, but such cases should be rare)
- A man doesn’t make his date uncomfortable by choice of activity. No you can’t take your date to a gory movie or WWF fight.
- A man is honest with his date an never leads a girl on wt false intentions.
Work
- A man is dependable.
- A man’s word is his contract.
- A man doesn’t cheat his employer or fellow co-workers by doing incomplete work or by shirking responsibility.
- A man can admit his mistake and doesn’t wait until the mistake is noticed before doing so.
- A man doesn’t leave an employer with out proper notification and/or providing a way for the job to be completed with out him.
Family
- A man is a family man.
- A man doesn’t cheat on his wife nor desires to
- A man provides for his family. If you have a family and don’t have a job you are not a man. Period.
- A man loves is children more tan himself.
- A man is loved by his children.
- A man is a disciplinarian, but hates it.
These are just a few of my pet peeves when it comes to men who don’t act like men feel free to post your own idea’s. Don’t Be a Wiki-man. BE A MAN.
-Charles
In response I have come up with my own rules for being a man.
Relationships toward others
Toward Other Men.
- A man can always expect to receive help from another man when in need and is always willing to help his fellow man.
- A man is tough enough to resolve conflicts with another man openly and face to face
Towards Women.
- A man gives women his highest respect.
- A man despises pornography and any thing that dehumanizes women.
- A man makes women feel safe.
- A man compliments a woman, even if he doesn’t have feelings for her, and takes it as a personal insult if a woman is down on herself.
Towards Children.
- A man is the biggest kid.
- A man loves to be near children.
- A man makes children feel safe.
Dating
- A man doesn’t betray a friend who is pursuing a woman by asking her out behind the friends back.
- A man isn’t afraid of women.
- A man opens the door for his date.
- A man is not overly physical or pushy. It doesn’t matter if it is the first date or the thirty-first date if you make that woman uncomfortable you are not a man.
- A man doesn’t let his date walk alone.
- A man pays. (unless there is a friendly pre-agreement with the woman, but such cases should be rare)
- A man doesn’t make his date uncomfortable by choice of activity. No you can’t take your date to a gory movie or WWF fight.
- A man is honest with his date an never leads a girl on wt false intentions.
Work
- A man is dependable.
- A man’s word is his contract.
- A man doesn’t cheat his employer or fellow co-workers by doing incomplete work or by shirking responsibility.
- A man can admit his mistake and doesn’t wait until the mistake is noticed before doing so.
- A man doesn’t leave an employer with out proper notification and/or providing a way for the job to be completed with out him.
Family
- A man is a family man.
- A man doesn’t cheat on his wife nor desires to
- A man provides for his family. If you have a family and don’t have a job you are not a man. Period.
- A man loves is children more tan himself.
- A man is loved by his children.
- A man is a disciplinarian, but hates it.
These are just a few of my pet peeves when it comes to men who don’t act like men feel free to post your own idea’s. Don’t Be a Wiki-man. BE A MAN.
-Charles
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Hello World I'm Glad To Meet You
Hello,
My middle name is Charles. I was named after a great man named Charles Stephens, my great grandfather. Now I never knew this man he died 3 years prior to my birth, but have learned a lot about him. I will use his name instead of my surname because of who he was and who I aspire to be.
Charles grew up in a small town called Tooele in a remote part of Utah during the depression. Now he wasn't a perfect man. He was not highly educated, worked as a school janitor, and didn't have a whole lot that our "society" would value. However, Charles had character.
Ever since the first two men shook hands in agreement character has been an unseen bond that holds our society together. When ever there has been troubled times in the world men of good character have come forward and stood for values. Their stalwart examples gave many hope when there was none to be found and pulled us through to times of prosperity.
Now, what is character? Well that's exactly what this blog is dedicated to. The search for and documentation of good men and women doing good things. I will be posting stories, comments, and observations that I find in the world around me. I hope through this venue to seek out the core values that this society was founded upon but have been buried by the advent of the "Me" generation. I am not blind to the realities that this blog won't be a maverick in the world of social thought. Nor am I expecting to change the course of thought that guides our country. My blog will simply be a way for those who share my views of the world to come together and give voice the the thoughts that fill our minds and beg to be spoken.
I invite all to comment on my weekly posts and share there feelings with all who will listen.
Charles
My middle name is Charles. I was named after a great man named Charles Stephens, my great grandfather. Now I never knew this man he died 3 years prior to my birth, but have learned a lot about him. I will use his name instead of my surname because of who he was and who I aspire to be.
Charles grew up in a small town called Tooele in a remote part of Utah during the depression. Now he wasn't a perfect man. He was not highly educated, worked as a school janitor, and didn't have a whole lot that our "society" would value. However, Charles had character.
Ever since the first two men shook hands in agreement character has been an unseen bond that holds our society together. When ever there has been troubled times in the world men of good character have come forward and stood for values. Their stalwart examples gave many hope when there was none to be found and pulled us through to times of prosperity.
Now, what is character? Well that's exactly what this blog is dedicated to. The search for and documentation of good men and women doing good things. I will be posting stories, comments, and observations that I find in the world around me. I hope through this venue to seek out the core values that this society was founded upon but have been buried by the advent of the "Me" generation. I am not blind to the realities that this blog won't be a maverick in the world of social thought. Nor am I expecting to change the course of thought that guides our country. My blog will simply be a way for those who share my views of the world to come together and give voice the the thoughts that fill our minds and beg to be spoken.
I invite all to comment on my weekly posts and share there feelings with all who will listen.
Charles
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